Sad News...

I'm sure you've been wondering why I've been so quiet for so long, and there has, in fact, been a reason. (Actually, many reasons, but more on that later.) It's just I didn't want to say it out loud and make it real, so I...didn't. Many, many of you have written and asked about the status of THE DEAD GIVEAWAY, a question I have dodged, but now it's time to just tell you what has happened and be done with it. So here goes: Due to the merger of Penguin with Random House, the new corporation decided to put my forensic books in publisher's limbo. In other words, they have no plans to release either one of the new titles. Which is why I've been so absent. It's heartbreaking news, especially since there is nothing I can do about it. So there you have it, the end of the forensic series. After I appeared on The Paula Zahn show (which was incredibly hard) I came home to a cancer scare concerning my daughter, which turned out well but took up all of my mental energy. (Terror, pure and simple.) Then my granddaughter had to have surgery due to yet another cancer scare (again, it turned out well) and worst of all, my son's baby died when his wife was at the six-month pregnancy mark. (They live just ten minutes away.) As this was to be their first child, it was a particularly hard loss, since there was nothing physically wrong with their little baby girl. Why she died is a mystery - her heart just stopped beating. In the midst of that emotional storm, I found out about the fate of the series, and I just sort of...bailed. Sorry sorry sorry. I'm back now, finishing up DRAGONFLY EYES. I think it will be my best book ever, so there's that to look forward to! I want to share what happened when I asked my sister why all these bad things had been raining down on me, because, in truth, I was feeling very low. She reminded me of something that is so important I feel embarrassed that I let this truth slip away from me, even for a little while. When I was on the show with Paula Zahn (bloated from those horrible drugs because of the terrible case of pneumonia I'd endured, which in turn had forced me to take high high high levels of prednisone and swell up like a pumpkin) I was still sick. I'd really wanted to represent Savannah and felt like I had failed, in part because of those nasty prednisone side-effects. Joni, my sister, gently told me that instead of my appearance on the show being a failure, it had been a triumph, because, as bloated as I was, I had been alive to tell her story, thanks to the very drug I so despised. Prednisone had saved me and I should be grateful. My daughter's biopsy turned out to be benign and it could have been so much worse. So was my granddaughter's biopsy - another benign, huzzah! The loss of the baby was a true heart-breaker, but I've never been promised an easy path and my son and wife may still try for another. Joni encouraged me to count my blessings, which I have started to do all over again. It's not been a bad six months, it's been a challenging six months. When you're dealing with the loss of life, the loss of a book(s) isn't so bad. It's all about perspective. On a final note, Robert Lloyd Sellers son wrote to me, and if he reads this message, I would very much like him to email me at aferguson@alaneferguson.com. (As may any of you. I'm much better at answering emails, so if you have a question, always feel free to write to me directly!) There have been many, many connections that were made from ON THE CASE WITH PAULA ZAHN, and it has been healing to have been able to talk with those who remembered my friend. It's almost as if Savannah's here with me again; I have missed her so very, very much... Just so you know, DRAGONFLY EYES is written from the perspective of a character named Savannah Anderson, a beautiful girl who, like my friend Savannah, was murdered in her prime. It is my tribute to 'my Savannah'. This new book series shines a light on my belief that we must be kind to each other, always always always. You never know what twist or turn may surprise you up ahead, but you can make a choice to be grateful for the sweetness, the nectar that comes from living each and every day we are given with joy. Books may come and go, but the love we share though the lives we touch is forever. That is something to remember...